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Stressing that his current row with internationallaw firm Brown Rudnick Berlack Israels is a mere storm in a tea-cup — theyare demanding payment of £224,000, plusinterest — he tells me: "I am exemptingthem from my criticism — I do not wantany further legal problems."My remarks are aimed at the industry ingeneral.I want to start a campaign againstexcessive fees charged by lawyers.So the hard-partying, twice-divorced Mc Alpine — a close pal of mucky bed artist Tracey Emin — is no pushover in a confrontationand is locked in a dispute withlawyers who are suing him for £250,000 inallegedly unpaid professional fees.Now Mc Alpine, 52 — who has backed themovie Funny Games starring Naomi Wattsand Tim Roth which opens next month in London — has launched an astonishingbroadside against the legal industry.But while Prince Andrew will beon duty at his mother'sside, the two Princesseswill be absent, havingbeen whisked away to Europe for a mysterytrip to mark Eugenie's18th birthday.It is thefirst time the girls havenot spent Easter withtheir grandmother, butthe Queen has givenpermission for Fergie totake the girls abroad."It's a birthday treat for Eugenie, who is alsobringing some of herclose friends," I am told.Three decades after he made his name as Jesusof Nazareth, actor Robert Powell has given hisapproval to the BBC's Easter offering, The Passion. "Why does the BBC claim itis a first to put the drama in the political and socialconditions of the day? "We did that 30 yearsago." Powell, 63, has taken a professional interest inscreen portrayals of Christ.

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Speaking at London College of Fashion, where she waslaunching the International Day Against Homophobia, the four-times-married Labour MP startledher mainly gay audience byannouncing: "I haven't triedlesbianism — I am probably a bitancient now."But Barbara, a well-preserved 65,then undid her coat to reveal a trimfigure in a black dress, generatingcheers from the gathering.If sheseemed disconcerted, it didn'tshow as she went on: "When I wentto art school, if you were gay youjust didn't mention it.It was notallowed and on top of that it was in South Africa, where it was doublynot allowed."Barbara then provokedfurther headscratching byreminiscing about the gaycharacters Julian and Sandy fromthe Sixties radio show Round The Horne. "The laughter wassort of incredulous."Violin virtuoso has finally got a smash hit Just to prove that it's an ill wind that blowsnobody any good, violin virtuoso David Garrett hashad some unexpected luck.He was expelled from Harrow and wenton to make money from arthouse filmssuch as The Pornographer and the Japanese S&M movie Audition.Five years agoduring a row in a Soho hotel over the Twin Towers attack, he had his nose broken by American filmmaker Larry Clark.The matter was settled and he isnow engaged to filmmaker Carole Siller."I would love to explain why some lawyers are a bunch of s***s, but I would end up inmore legal action," he tells me.