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Emotionally invalidating environments

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You might learn not to trust your emotions or push them down.Some people push their emotions down so much they feel numb.Chris Willcox, associate professor of psychology at the Centre for Psychotherapy in Newcastle, NSW, has worked in mental health for 25 years.He said it was common for people with BPD to be more emotionally sensitive, and to have grown up in an 'invalidating' environment."Really it's a combination of nature and nurture," Prof Willcox said."If you have someone growing up in a world where their experience isn't being validated for various reasons, they'll grow up not learning how to regulate their emotions."Often when events occur in their lives, they have a very strong emotional response to what's going on.Although there are many examples of invalidating environments, all share three characteristics: (1) individual behaviors and communications are rejected as invalid; (2) emotional displays and painful behaviors are met with punishment that is erratically administered and intermittently reinforcing; (3) the environment oversimplifies the ease with which problems may be solved and needs met.Most of us have encountered such environments at some point in our lives and we commonly deal with them by changing our behavior to meet expectations, or by changing the environment so that it is no longer invalidating, or, ultimately, by simply leaving the environment.'"Three-and-a-half years ago, Ms Mc Mullen was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

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The experience of being physically or sexually abused as a child is inherently emotionally invalidating.

The part of you that sensed something was wrong about the way you were being treated had to be ignored in order to survive.

If you were abused as a child, you had to swallow your emotions and had to attempt to deal with them yourself.

Here are some examples of invalidating statements: Everyone is invalidated when they’re growing up some of the time.

Parents and caregivers are human, and therefore may be stressed out and unable to consistently validate a child’s emotions.