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I think people should go out with the people they are attracted to.

We don't call Demi Moore a cougar — we just think of her as beautiful, famous, talented, and with good taste. But I don't think that attraction is all about how you look. And if you pick somebody who you feel good with, your friends will be happy for you. You will be around someone who shares your passions, and have a lot to discuss.

Do something where you'll have something to talk about. On the other hand, you don't want to put your date, yourself or your son in embarrassing situations. Question from Denise: Are online dating sites good ways to meet people? You have to try different sites to see which ones feel comfortable for you, and which ones have tools that you think will create a better chance of a good relationship. But I think third date it starts to up the ante, and by the fifth date there is some pressure for some sexuality.

That is to say, you are a mature woman and you want to date, so I think you need to talk to your son and tell him that you are going to start dating again. But there is more to love than hair color, and I think people pick who they love on other criteria.

On the other hand, if you went with a buddy, you could have fun even if there was nobody interesting there.

What advice would you give me as far as first date suggestions? And if waiting is important to you, I assure you there are people out there who feel the same.You can go online late at night and you can use your lunch hour to have coffee with the people you meet. The important point is that people who have kids learn pretty quickly that they need someone who also has kids, and guys are going to look for that, too.Just remember, if something terrible happened — let's say you had to go to a funeral — you'd find the time for it. Question from Denise: I'm in school, working and a mother of 7- and 15-year-olds. They want someone who has the capacity to understand children's needs, just like you do.So it's not easy, but if it's really important to both of you, and both of you work at it, it can have a good outcome.Question from Lois: What about trips that are only for singles?So if you really like this guy, at some point you should open up more of your world to him. But I think most of the things that apply to heterosexual relationships have resonance with same-sex relationships.