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As one recent response on Harris’ site put it, “I feel the only man I deserve is one who is broken like me.” came out, and everyone I knew in my upper-middle-class evangelical community in suburban Chicago was talking about it.For me as a teenager, the whole topic had a pleasing ratio of certainty to ambiguity.And it argued that any kind of physical intimacy before marriage was a violation of the sacredness of married sexuality, and could lead to lifelong regret.became a phenomenon in conservative Christian circles.“It’s like, well, crap, is the biggest thing I’ve done in my life this really huge mistake? Last month he gave an interview to NPR in which he said he is re-evaluating the book’s impact, and he has been responding to critics on Twitter and having phone conversations with some of them, too.A few months ago, he started soliciting messages on his website from readers about how the books affected them.Over the years he wrote more books about dating and marriage, including , he is the father of three kids—two of them teenagers—and he is pursuing formal education for the first time in his life.And these days, he’s having very mixed feelings about the book that turned him into a Christian celebrity.

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Then another joins them, and another, and another, forming an ominous chain at the altar.

It prompted some people to marry the first person they dated, even if they were unhappy together; to view the opposite sex with fear and suspicion; or to be afraid of starting any relationships at all.

Others have struggled with viewing sexual abuse as evidence they were tainted.

, written by Joshua Harris and first published in 1997, argued that traditional dating was “a training ground for divorce” because it puts people in the habit of quitting relationships when things get tough.

Aimed at teens and twentysomethings, the book discouraged teen relationships and proposed that courtship, in which a couple moves purposefully toward marriage with their parents’ blessing and involvement, was a superior model to dating.