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Furthermore, there tends not to be much flexibility when it comes to stating your sexual orientation.Since I identify as a trans male, and my sexual preference is for females, I have been left with only one option in the online dating world: heterosexual.She drove down from New York and we had an enjoyable dinner in Philadelphia.There were definitely sparks flying, but she explained that she was just getting over a very difficult relationship and needed time to heal. We both agreed it was not our time and that there might be potential for some kind of connection at some point in the future.

A little later on in my transition, once I began presenting as male, I set up profiles on two mainstream dating sites, one listing myself as male without stating that I was trans, and the other listing my trans status. A few months after posting my profiles to both sites, I received a message on the site where I hadn’t disclosed that I was trans.But my attitude about dating has become more hopeful, as I’ve gotten more comfortable in my body, and used to making decisions that feel supportive to myself.This June, for instance, I attended the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference for the first time.And yet, the basic tools given to you by most dating sites don’t leave much room for personalization.Most sites allow you to choose between only two genders, male and female.Some people I have spoken with say they think it’s important to disclose that you’re trans right away, while about an equal number of others say it’s better to wait to see if there is any chemistry before sharing such personal information. I made a plan to meet the woman I’d been messaging with for a coffee date.